To the girl I Love most

This is what really happen and bothering me that night.

Last Friday, I went down to Club Momo to meet Justin as we are celebrating his birthday there
Coincidentally, SL wanted to go there too and invited her to join me.
Actually, I more of wanted to meet her than Justin. (Sorry, brother)
It was supposingly a great night but things start to went wrong.
I have forgotten what had really happened but i suddenly felt very sad and just wanted to be drunk.
Although I have drank alot, but I'm not that completely drunk.
I still aware what happening around me and chose to ignore.
Although I still have abit conscious, but still talk too much under the influence of alcohol.
The most important thing is I told SL that I love her.
I don't know how this happen anyway.

But ever since this thing happen, I start to feel changes in me.
I pick up smoking again after quiting for 5 years.Always have a emptiness feeling in me.
I can't really concentrate on my work.
There's sort of an inner struggle in me.

As of now I writing this blog, my feelings is better now after much reflection last night.
I guess I finally wake up from a long slumber that I didn't realised over the years.
All of this problem is my own narrow thinking. What is really there to analysis anyway.
I will just say I love her and thats it.
To be accepted or not is nothing I can control.
Guess I have lost my path that Love should be mutual.

Regards,
Calvin

PS: I think I really like you alot, SL. But I know I not good enough for you.