Sorting my messy life

When I tell people that my life is in amess.
Some say its not, its only me who make it complicated.
But others do say its pretty messy right now, better do something about it.

I do feel there's a need to sort up abit as I have starting to lost my way.
Those Code of my life which I've holding it up with honour and pride is no longer there.
I can't even keep a promise that I made. I can'y even work professionally now.
All of these are already gone and I still stubbornly argue that I have a pride to keep.

I think I'm too afraid to admit the failure and judgement I made.
Regardless is relationship or others.

I once thought I can forgo my pride and everything else if its for True Love.
Think this is only just an excuse. I'm just a coward who don't want to admit own mistakes.
I'm been looking for True Love for so many years and the funny things is I don't understand Love.

Its not as though I don't like her, but its takes two hands to form a clap.
To remain as friends or gamble all the way to become couple is what I thought.
I've pushing the limits towards the impossible.
Think I better stop and think about it again before I do a stupid thing again.

I wish to isolate for awhile to reborn again. To really learn the mistakes I made.

Mark of the Wolves
Calvin