Life......

Valentine day's Offer

2007-02-01T16:20:00.000+08:00

Hi Everyone,

Valentine is coming soon.
Feel like getting a Bouquet for your darling?
Got Good Deal for you!

Check out my Offer!

12 Stalk Roses
Big Bloom (Color : Red, White,Pink, Mixed)
S$85

12 Stalk Roses
Big Bloom (Color : Blue)
S$90

10 Stalk Tulips
S$95

5 Stalk SunFlower (Big)
S$95

6 Stalk Lilies
S$90
12 Stalk Lilies
S$150

All Bouquet comes with standard side Flowers.
All prices are inclusive of delivery.
All Delivery is within Singapore
Give me a call or send a mail to me for more details.

Best Regards,
Calvin
H/P: 96288805
Email: kokkok80@yahoo.com.sg

Created themes for N80

2006-12-10T14:01:00.000+08:00

check out this theme i created for my phone.

Download: Warcraft

Cheers,
Calvin

Four-Leaf Clover

2006-07-31T18:07:00.000+08:00

Hi Friends,

Wana Boost up your Luck? Wana Strike 4D, Toto or the Lottery?
Better Luck in your work? Or even Love?
Get a Four-leaf Clover.

In Irish tradition the Shamrock or Three-leaf Clover represents the Holy Trinity: one leaf for the Father, one for the Son and one for the Holy Spirit. When a Shamrock is found with the fourth leaf, it represents God's Grace.
For now the 4 leaf symbolizes, Faith, Hope, Love and Luck.
The mystique of the four leaf clover continues today, since finding a real four leaf clover is still a rare occurrence and omen of good luck.

Here are some 4 Leaf Clover pendant and Keychain. There more Varieties and Design.
Guaranteed all products contain a REAL FOUR-LEAF CLOVER.
Email me at kokkok80@yahoo.com.sg for more Information.
Believe me, its Cheap. S$25 /=.

Johari Window

2006-02-21T15:55:00.000+08:00

Hi Friends,

Help me in this Johari Window.
Let me know more about myself.
Click the above title

Thanks,
Calvin

Valentine's Offer

2006-02-10T09:24:00.000+08:00

A Good Story - Love

2005-12-28T17:55:00.000+08:00

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to
me.

Once when we were sitting at the edge of a
swimming pool,
she filled the palm of her hand with some water &
held it before me,

& said this:

"You see this water carefully contained on my
hand? It symbolizes LoVe."

This was how I saw it:
As long as you keep your hand caringly open &
allow it to remain there, it will always be there.

However, if you attempt to close your fingers round
it & try to posses it, it will spill through the
first cracks it finds.

This is the greatest mistake that people do when
they meet LoVe...

they try to posses it,
they demand,
they expect...
just like the water spilling out of your hand,
LoVe will retrieve from you .

For LoVe is meant to be free, you cannot change
its nature.

If there are people you LoVe,
allow them to be free beings.

Give & don't expect.

Advise, but don't order.

Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple,
but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly
practice.

It is the secret to true LoVe.

To truly practice it,
you must sincerely feel no expectations from those
who you LoVe & yet an unconditional caring.

Passing thought...
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take...
but by the moments that take our breath away...

Having a fun Christmas eve

2005-12-28T15:49:00.000+08:00

Its been long since the last party out with Justin and the gang.
The night at Ritz Carlton is definitely one of the best party this year.

I'm very happy when Benjamin decided to join us as he is one of my trusted friend since poly days.
Although he have drank alot at Double O before joining us, he still quite sober and could still take care of those who is half-drunk. Funny, right?

The charade game is funny and the forfeit has make most of them drunk.
But its very enjoyable and fun to watch those that are drunk doing those funny thing like banging the window, mistaken the room for toilet and etc....
Hahahaha, Going to laugh at them when I see them next time.

Should have more event like this next time.

Mark of the Wolf

Is it worth it?

2005-12-12T17:09:00.000+08:00

Seem to be very long from last post.
Time to write something.
Basically nothing big or dramatic happen to me till now.
Life seem peaceful and I start to go back to my if as lone wolf.

While I am picking up myself back, YK, one of good pals in Poly, is following my footstep of before.
Guess he very lost now.
Came across his Ex's blog last few week.
Feel sad for him as I understand more of what happen in their relationship.
The outcome is a predictable ending. I would like to advise him to give up now as I don't want to see him walking the path I took before. Lesson had been taught and I wished to share with him what I've learned.
But I will still give him full support if he insist to persue the love he want.

I find Love is the greatest thing in this world and one should not easily give up.
Whether is it worth it anot, is up to him to decide. I can only share my experience to him.
Hope he will find his answer soon.

Looking at him now, I see all the foolish things I've done last time.
Now as a bystander, I have a clearer sight and I know what my next step to be.
I will be a better man

Mark of the Wolf
Calvin

Will it be better?

2005-11-24T17:03:00.000+08:00

Just read Justin's blog, seem like things are getting better for him.
Feel abit dissapointed on myself as I think I not doing better.
Guess I not ready enough.
Although thing have improved and my feeling is not that worse compared to last time.
But I still don't have a good direction of what I should do.
More of like I don't know what I want from life or who I really like.
Ever since all those "tragedy" happen, I am clueless in what I doing.
Life to me is like come & go. No requirements like that. Just going with the flow.
To like or love a certain girl is not in mind . Maybe all those events had make me lose faith in Love.
To me, is like, so what you like somebody. It doesn't get anywhere if the opposite party is not interested.
Why should you bother to do that?
Maybe you may think I just a loser that cursed & swear because I can't get it.
But I know myself I'm definitely not.
Strangest things is, I start to feel comfortable with this type of living.
Don't know is it good or bad.
Or is it really very bad to have this type of mindset.
Haiz.......

Maybe I am waiting for someone to spark up my life.
Don't ask me who is it, I don't know. Just waiting for my future to come
Waiting for my lifespan to expire......
Just live as comfortable as I could. Don't want to be in a mess again.

Persistence & Determination

2005-11-21T12:32:00.000+08:00

As Calvin Coolidge wrote:
"Press on. Nothing can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; the world is full of unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

Its Good to be back

2005-10-24T11:58:00.000+08:00

So fast this month going to pass soon.
This month sure have a lot of happenings, But I glad a lot of lesson learned.
Finally I can really say out loud that I have step out of it.
Maybe mainly because of the event at the chalet when I was drunk.
Although I'm quite embarrassed of the things I do where I don't have any impression of what happen,
I won't forget this day. To serve as a reminder to me that it will not happen again.
And I won't indulge in problems so stubbornly.
Many of my views has changed since as I keep reflecting the things I've done.
Lesson have to be learned so that you won't make the same mistake.
Feeling really good now. Back to old times. Carefree.

More to let it out

2005-10-11T17:46:00.000+08:00

After writing the below post, I feel its better that I let out everything.
I been holding too much inside me that make me feel sad & sorrow.

I have like SL from the time we met each other.
I tried not to think much of it as she was attached that time.
But when the time goes by, I became so deeply indulge that I think its time to do something.
I let her know and we remain as good friends as she still love her guy alot.
I respect her decision and tried to be a Best buddy.

But no matter how hard I tried, I can't denied that I still hold feelings for her.
These have keep on for a while till SH join the company.
Due to the same area we stay, we have become close and became good friends.
After some time, I start to think that maybe I should go after SH rather than SL.
And the actual reason, I thought I can force myself to give up SL if I'm with SH.
Is more of forcing myself to a one way path as I know that the chance to be with SL will be gone if I do this.
I now then realised how stupid I am.
I'm not treating SH as a replacement, but the feelings I have is abit more on SL side.

Well, in the end, I got nowhere and I thought I could just let it go.
Things are going fine for a while as both of them has left the company.
Really thought it will end like this till heaven play a joke on me.
During one meet up with SL, I got drunk and blurt everything out.
Haiz .... can read the rest from my post.

Regards,
Calvin

Sorting my messy life

2005-10-11T11:37:00.000+08:00

When I tell people that my life is in amess.
Some say its not, its only me who make it complicated.
But others do say its pretty messy right now, better do something about it.

I do feel there's a need to sort up abit as I have starting to lost my way.
Those Code of my life which I've holding it up with honour and pride is no longer there.
I can't even keep a promise that I made. I can'y even work professionally now.
All of these are already gone and I still stubbornly argue that I have a pride to keep.

I think I'm too afraid to admit the failure and judgement I made.
Regardless is relationship or others.

I once thought I can forgo my pride and everything else if its for True Love.
Think this is only just an excuse. I'm just a coward who don't want to admit own mistakes.
I'm been looking for True Love for so many years and the funny things is I don't understand Love.

Its not as though I don't like her, but its takes two hands to form a clap.
To remain as friends or gamble all the way to become couple is what I thought.
I've pushing the limits towards the impossible.
Think I better stop and think about it again before I do a stupid thing again.

I wish to isolate for awhile to reborn again. To really learn the mistakes I made.

Mark of the Wolves
Calvin

World of Hypocrite

2005-10-03T17:37:00.000+08:00

So many people keeping things from me.
So many people using me.
Do you all really think I'm stupid?
Are they really call friends?
How much trust I put in them and this is what I get.
Its time for me to stop being a Fool.

Mark of the Wolves
Calvin

Haiz.....

2005-09-08T12:38:00.000+08:00

I mess up again.......
Have been going through a massive up & down emotionally eversince that faithful day.
I've become indecisive and not sensible, been acting impulsive based on my emotion.
I never think of the others and consequences, become very self-centered and selfish.
Think I am too obessed with her.
Feel very childish.

I think I will stop seeing her for a while to prevent going in too deep further.
Feel not sensible enough to do anything right ( keep messing up the situation, blowing up the matter).

Hope to really get back to myself fast.

Friends,
Thanks for all your support.

Regards,
Calvin

To the girl I Love most

2005-08-02T09:58:00.000+08:00

This is what really happen and bothering me that night.

Last Friday, I went down to Club Momo to meet Justin as we are celebrating his birthday there
Coincidentally, SL wanted to go there too and invited her to join me.
Actually, I more of wanted to meet her than Justin. (Sorry, brother)
It was supposingly a great night but things start to went wrong.
I have forgotten what had really happened but i suddenly felt very sad and just wanted to be drunk.
Although I have drank alot, but I'm not that completely drunk.
I still aware what happening around me and chose to ignore.
Although I still have abit conscious, but still talk too much under the influence of alcohol.
The most important thing is I told SL that I love her.
I don't know how this happen anyway.

But ever since this thing happen, I start to feel changes in me.
I pick up smoking again after quiting for 5 years.Always have a emptiness feeling in me.
I can't really concentrate on my work.
There's sort of an inner struggle in me.

As of now I writing this blog, my feelings is better now after much reflection last night.
I guess I finally wake up from a long slumber that I didn't realised over the years.
All of this problem is my own narrow thinking. What is really there to analysis anyway.
I will just say I love her and thats it.
To be accepted or not is nothing I can control.
Guess I have lost my path that Love should be mutual.

Regards,
Calvin

PS: I think I really like you alot, SL. But I know I not good enough for you.

Is Love is for Fool?

2005-07-06T17:16:00.000+08:00

Had really been very long since the last post.
Nothing big happen this few months, but still got something bothering my mind.
Never had any form of contact with SH ever since that event.....
Guess that I am a fool to be in such a state before.
Come to think of it, Its not that deep as I thought.
Maybe I still like SL abit more than her.

But time is different now.
Her words to me before leave a very deep impression on my mind.
Can a guy be accepted for turning back as he tried to take an alternate route.
Well the answer is no to most of the people.
But is this fair? Doesn't it is selfish for a person to wait there for her to break off with her guy?
Maybe the gal will think that he is not determined enough to give up, but how will the guy feel when he saw her with him?
If he don't try an alternate route, he is like a fool to give up other choices and wait for an indefinite answer?
Some may get a good ending, but most of them don't.
Its even harder when you have a friendship on the line.

I aware that she may see this, but this is what i think.

Thanks

2005-05-30T16:58:00.000+08:00

Long time never update my blog.
But surprisingly, there are still people out there reading and encouraging me.

I feel really glad.
Thanks for the support

Stupid guy

2005-02-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

I thought my next post will be a week later.......
So friday is over, she not free and reject my invitation.
I guess this was it, right?
Saw her on msn, say hello to her and she went offline.
Didn't reply my SMS.

Well, try to convinced myself that she not ready due to her recent break-up, I guessed I can't lied to myself anymore.
A fact is a fact, can't denied.

But does she really need to go to that extend to avoid me?
Why not she just tell me upfront that is impossible. Less some imagination for me.
Just because I say that I have feeling for her and it will cause the end of a friendship?
It's sad to be rejected, but it even pathetic to lose a friend in this manner.

I come across a article that say women will avoid a man if they know he got feeling for her, no matter how close they are before.
I think its quite truth, no exception for her, Although she tell me she won't.

Am I a loser?
Am I pathetic?
Or am I stupid for all the things I done for her?

情義決﹐愛難求

2005-02-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

情義決﹐愛難求

Going about....

2005-02-15T13:22:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I begin to doubht myself that for what I doing for SH, is it really that I like her alot or for my ownself's stubborness.

Alot of my close friends had advise me to give up as they know that I'm not the type she want.
I really wish to listen to them, but strangely I think there may still a chance if i hold it a bit more longer.

I had send a bouquet of 7 pink roses to SH this valentine. I didnt get a direct rejection.
She only smile and say don't know, its better to stay as friends she said.
Well I think I get it And Justin say since she already decide, maybe its time to let go.
I am considering it now, but still think that one should not just give up upon first failure, should at least try again.
I had ask her out this friday night, where she say see how then.
Should get my answer by that time.
Hopefully.
From the look of what I have written, I think...
I really like her alot......

For a happy world

2005-02-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

Try to have a chat with SH this week, but no luck.
Surprisingly, I not much abit disapointed, neither I happy about it.
It seem like I am losing some part of me, but I guess I am slowly back to myself.

When I saw Shulin cry today when she thought she couldn't get into air stewardess, I'm lost of words. Don't know what to say to her.
But I decided to send her an sunflower to cheer her. Quickly ask San to add in today delivery where it cost me some surcharge because of the sudden order.
When I jus complete the order, she told me the Airline had call and she was selected.
I was happy for her, but feel sad too as she the second to leave after Jasmine.
Well, although she got the job, I still went ahead with the flower delivery.

She was happy too received the flower and I am glad she like it.
To see her happy, I think the charges is worth it.
Sadness is much more suitable for me, not for her.
I wish that she will stay happy for the rest of the year with her new career.

To Brace myself......

2005-01-29T19:10:00.000+08:00

Seng, I think you are right.
In my search for happiness have landed me in a miserable state rather than happiness.
I am doing it in a wrong way. Why should I bother so much on outcome. I should just work and face the outcome, either good or bad. To not to accept failure have make me not myself.
I think I am too obsessed.

This week is quite peaceful. Have a meeting with SH on sunday. Pass her office things which I help to hold on for her on her last day.
We have a nice chat and learn that she sort of having some problems with her BF.
It may sound like good news for me, but I still wishes the best for her.
For her, I think I just let faith take its own course.
On Friday, I was at the Bintan Factory with Jasmine.
Its the first time to go there with her and its not that bored compared going alone.

Received Shulin's call when I back in singapore. Asking me if i could help her to collect some thing on saturday for production.
So today spend the whole afternoon around Ubi and AngMoKio.
Although is tiring, but still quite fun with her.

Well, that basically for this week.
Hope to keep it up like this.

To work on my life

2005-01-23T18:57:00.000+08:00

Its seem that I am going through alot of things this month. Alot of Ups and Down......
But I think I finally wake up my ideas to really thinks about my future.
I used to think that to be able find my True Love will be my contentment of my life.
Guess that I am not fated.............True Love could not be found......its Predestined.
The more I Persued, Further its seem to be.
Maybe I don't understand True Love at all...............
Maybe I considered too much........
I think had to leave it all to Fate....
Just do What I can do, and
Just do it..........................

Although I am now feeling the low key of my life, but I glad that I had finally wake up.
I need to work on my career more.
Had a meeting with San last night, when he brought up the issue of no objective in our life now.
Think that we are too comfortable with our job now, to get pay, spend all of it and wait for next payday.
Need to really do something about it, or will joined the Rat's Race mentioned in the book 'Rich Dad Poor Dad' by Robert Kiyosaki.

Thanks for your advice, anonymous
PS: Seems like you know alot of what happening..........

Ever Since.....

2005-01-11T19:35:00.000+08:00

Have not update my blog for along time already.....
But I am very Surprised that I got a comment from Shin.
Sorry Shin, I can't really guess who are you but I know you know me.
I got a few guesses, but can't confirm.

Lately alot of new things had happened, some good and definitely there is bad also.
The Good things is I got a car now, sharing the loan with my dad. Luckily, most of the time I am the one driving it.
But sad to say also, I don't know the road well, therfore alot of restriction for me.
I think it will be better after a couple of weeks.

As for the Bad thing, I fallen for another Girl, SH.
Although this time she is single, but she not available.I'm clueless.
Do I need to tell her my feeling or I should not.
I actually know what the outcome will be and I not trying to force or what, but I think at least I need to let her know.
So that I won't have any regrets in my life.
Am I right to do it? Some of my close friends advise me not.....
What should I do?

Really don't know what I doing

2004-11-29T14:37:00.000+08:00

Seem like never blog for a long time....
Ever since that incident.
I think its has been more than a month already. Been very actively plaing RO and even create a blog for my guild, Chaos Legion.
It was fun but when I found out I was remove away from the guild on sunday afternoon because to add another player to temporaliy to level the guild make me abit annoyed.
Although I understand the reason and they have chose me because they know me better, but I just feel very annoyed.
I feel like a bullet that could be expended and reload when in needs.
I really don't know why I feeling Like that. Maybe I have been too stress this few weeks.
Haiz...............
It just a small matter though and I don't really even care about the game but ............
Maybe time to relax a while..........

Reflections

2004-10-15T19:57:00.000+08:00

This week is quite fulfilling for me.
Other than work and money, everything still fine with me.
I think I am going through quite well. Have a dinner with BF & SL on thursday night.
Well, Its very enjoyable as we joke around.
Things are still good with SL, although I had not actually get over with her, but I am satisfied already.
I admired her faithfullness to her boyfriend.
I can say I still like her, but too bad we just can't get together.
I don't think I am her type too. Forcing to be together will not lead to happiness.
I rather to be the one to be bear the misery than pull them down with me.
To have her as my pal, I am very grateful already.

Busy week

2004-10-03T16:46:00.000+08:00

Have been quite sometime when I last blog.
I have just moved my house to Yishun. It really take some time to settled down.
But still managed to get it done before my birthday cum housewarming party.
Alot of friends turns up and I was really happy. Even though alot of them is busy with work and study, they still find time to attend.
Thanks.

2004-10-03T16:40:00.000+08:00

DuanYu
Drawn By Christopher Lim

I will be posting my brother's drawing from now on.
As I felt that his talent should not be wasted.
Let everyone appreciate his artwork.
Feel free to leave comments.

To Start Afresh....

2004-09-17T20:23:00.000+08:00

I have finally get the answer that I wanted...
In fact I have already know this will be the outcome all along.
But I just want to fall abit harder so that I could let it go better.
I understand true love is hard to come by, one should not let it go so easily.
But to love doesn't mean you have to own her. Love shouldn't be force, to give her the blessing she wants is a show of love too.
Over the years, I have learn to give. I am happy that she have a person who she love and he love her too.
For me, at least I have let her know my feelings, I won't regret when I old as I know I have tried.
I would like to thanks the people that support me. You all are my true friends.

To thanks,
Teddy, Justin, Jasmine, Laura, Baofen, Eileen, San, Mook, Alfred, Yingsiew, Mengkiat
and lots more...

I thinks that conclude for my episode of my Life at this point....

Finding direction

2004-09-13T15:31:00.000+08:00

Seems like my frequency to blog has drop.
Nothing really big happen now.
Just passing my time without purpose. It seem like I leading a very carefree life but I don't really think so.
Its more like living without purpose, very aimless. Maybe I still can't get over her.
I'm still wondering how she think when I let her know I like her.
Although she still treat me as a friend, but is this what I really want? I don't want to lose a friend like her but neither I am satisfied in just being a close friend.
I don't think I can treat her as my close friend with the feeling I having now.
Maybe I should ask her how she really feel for me? Hope I can get the truth from her.
Maybe then I will really get a direction where I should head. Regardless the answer she give is positive or negative. As long it is the truth. I can sort up my feelings better.
To stay as a friend or wait for the impossible?

Rat's Race

2004-09-08T09:46:00.000+08:00

Feeling that to live is very boring.
Ever since started working, I have been wondering will I get out of this rat's race.
To work everyday is stressful and to face the people there is another problem.
Can't understand why there is people that cannot cooperate to work together, pushing responsibility around.
Luckily not all of them is like that, but a few of them can drive you to grave.
Don't know whether will I able to stay on this track for long.
With the problems that I already have, relations, family's burden and now work, I really feel very tired.
Sometimes I think I have split personality, can be smiling to everyone at one point, and feel sudden sorrow at another. Feel going mad someday....

2004-09-02T21:21:00.000+08:00

MashiMaro

会说话的哑巴 - 劉德華

2004-09-02T21:06:00.000+08:00

没有了香味的玫瑰花
总觉得缺少了什么
没有了对象绵绵情话
说了有一点傻
自从你离开的那一天
我的心塌下不想再说话
所有间题不想回答
不知不觉早已习惯
对着自己说话

忘不了你溜溜的长发
忘不了你深深的牵挂
剩下我一个人挣扎
一个人比划
没有你的日子停止说话
听说你真的剪了长发
听说你真的忘了牵挂
难道你感觉不到吗
接收不到吗
在那遥远会说话的哑巴
在对你说话

不想被揭开我的疮疤
躲藏在那无人的家
看着那不会响的电话
等你一个回答
我只能彷佛在空气中
闻到一丝丝霉了的牵挂
好久不见你可好吗
在一瞬间心情复杂
泪水骨碌滑下

忘不了你溜溜的长发
忘不了你深深的牵挂
剩下我一个人挣扎
一个人比划
没有你的日子停止说话
听说你真的剪了长发
听说你真的忘了牵挂
难道你感觉不到吗
接收不到吗
在那遥远会说话的哑巴
在对你说话

忘不了你溜溜的长发
忘不了你深深的牵挂
剩下我一个人挣扎
一个人比划
没有你的日子停止说话
听说你真的剪了长发
听说你真的忘了牵挂
难道你感觉不到吗
接收不到吗
在那遥远会说话的哑巴
在对你说话

Reality

2004-08-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

Have been writing frequently the past week.
Think that there is too much ups and down for me.
Finally she had know my feelings towards her.
She didn't avoid me and she even treat me as aclose friend too.
Well, I have always thought that it will be either Hell or Heaven if she finds out this feeling of mine....
But it turns out that its neither of the two, but is reality.
Maybe I am naive or ignorant.
Maybe that why I am feeling blank the past few days.
This reality is one thing that I have least expected....
I may have prepare for the worst, but not prepared for this reality.
I wonder how long will I take to sort this feelings.

A Blank Week

2004-08-27T20:11:00.000+08:00

Finally friday has come. The last working day for my week.
Have been through some up and downs this week.
I can't believe that I still haven't come to a conclusion for her.
I still feel blank, like a walking zombie. Empty in my mind.
But strange thing is, I don't feel sad neither am I happy.
First time in my life that I feel blank and empty.

Burden Free.........or a start for another...

2004-08-25T20:29:00.000+08:00

Finally she had see this blog of mine.
Although I feel relieved, but is another starting point of a new challenge.
What will this outcome will be? Will there be a conclusion? Am I up to the challenge?

I really blank now............
What shall be my next step?
To continue?
Or its time for this thing to come to an end?

No use guessing future...
Just like my godmother say
即來之﹐哲安之。

Stress?

2004-08-23T16:59:00.000+08:00

Monday again...
Working for quite sometimes, feel very bored and stress.
Feel like going for holidays and relax for a while. It been really stressful to me either in work and relation.
But too bad, don't have much annual leave.

For work, actually there nothing bad about it. Its just that I will see her everyday and I feel that this is the thing that is actually affecting me.
I think I can't control my emotion well. I easily affected by it.
But what to do, fell in love with the wrong person.
Really hope that I can sort out this complicating feelings.

Lyrics - Let me die, Nicholas Tse

2004-08-21T20:55:00.000+08:00

Are we at war tonight
Will there be angels whispering to me goodnight
Don't wake when lightning strikes
My heart for you is true
Let no one take that from you, time is running tight
Can't change from wrong to right
So I'll close my eyes and dream a little
Just like how we used to be baby

It's time to say fare-well,
No need to cry or feeling sorrow
It's alright,
All in the book of life,
Heaven grant me one last wish I beg you
Let me say these words before I go...

I will love you till the end of time,
Every breath of mine, I'll hold you by my side
But I'll rest in peace, my sweet heart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
Only you can stop the rain tonight
Only you can change my world from black to white
So I'll close my eyes and dream a little more...

Are we at war tonight
Will there be angels whispering to me goodnight
Don't wake when lightning strikes
Heaven grant me one last wish I beg you
Let me say these words before I go...

I will love you till the end of time,
Every breath of mine, I'll hold you by my side
But I'll rest in peace, my sweet heart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
Only you can stop the rain tonight
Only you can give me strength to fight
Till the sky is burning, it's the end of time

Look ahead tomorrow, a long and winding road
Keep the faith of mine don't let it go
You're the only reason night ain't growing cold
What will I do, without you

I will love you till the end of time,
Every breath of mine, I'll hold you by my side
But I'll rest in peace my sweet heart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
Only you can stop the rain tonight
Only you can make my world so bright,
Life, no longer empty,
With you in my heart,
In my heart...

2004-08-17T18:20:00.000+08:00

ShenBing

Drawing of mine

2004-08-17T17:59:00.000+08:00

東方問世。神兵3。
Long time never draw. Don't know whether I still up to my standard?

Dilema

2004-08-16T21:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just feel like laughing at myself.
It seem that I am on one hand trying very hard to avoid her, but on the other hand, I am enjoying the every moments I have with her.
Well, for today, I feel very happy to have a chance to share an umbrella with her when we are going for lunch. I was thinking to myself that how it will be like if she is my girl? How the feeling will be like?

When we are going back home in the evening, we drop by Causeway Point and I ask her to have a cup of coffee with me if she free.
I'm very glad that she is willing to acompany me. I feel very happy,
But when I saw her board the bus to go home, the thoughts of impossible feels my mind again.
I just don't know what should be the next step for me.........
Do I have the courage to face the facts?

A song that suit my mood now

2004-08-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

Everybody’s got something, they had to leave behind,
One regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time,
There’s no use looking back, or wondering, (or wondering),
How it could be now, or might have been, (or might have been),
All this I know, but still I can’t find ways to let you go,
I never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you.

Somewhere in my memory I’ve lost all sense of time,
And tomorrow can never be cause yesterday is all that fills my mind,
There’s no use looking back, or wondering (or wondering),
How it should be now, or might have been (or might have been),
Oh this I know but still I can’t find ways to let you go,
I never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to .
A part of me will always be

You’ll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will oh baby,
You’ll always be the one I know I’ll never forget,
There’s no use looking back or wondering, (or wondering),
Because love is a strange and funny thing, (and funny thing),
No matter how I try and try I just can’t say goodbye, no no no no.
I never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say, (never found the words to say),
You’re the one I think about each day, (you’re the one I think about each day),
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be...
A part of me will always be with you, oooohhh.

Never had a Dream Come True

By S Club 7

Nothing much to say, very bored

2004-08-12T15:09:00.000+08:00

Few days has passed.
Feeling much more better. I think I have awaken from my dream to face the reality.
The truth to me is now clear, I should not hang on something that is hopeless.
Although I still feel sad and unwilling to let go, but is not that bad compare to couple of weeks ago.
Maybe I start to learn to accept my fate. There's no point for me to guess the future, just let fate take its own course.
Just like what Justin had tell me before, I have think too much.

Worse than ever

2004-08-08T01:51:00.000+08:00

For the past week, I try to cut down interaction with her. I was able to do it on the monday & tuesday, but give up after that. My determination is weak. I don't know why. Maybe I eager to see her everyday at the bus-stop and going back with her. But I know myself I should stop that.

Feeling worse as each day passes.

Feeling down

2004-08-04T13:22:00.000+08:00

Just read Seng's Blog. Feel very sad for him.
He is a nice person and he's so pure and devoted to the one he's love.
I really wish that things will turn out well for him.

For me, things aren't smooth too. I plan to tell her my feeling this week, but can't find a good opportunity. Maybe I giving excuses to myself. Maybe I don't even had the courage to face the facts.

Company BBQ

2004-08-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

I was at East Coast yesterday for my company BBQ. I were quite anticipating it a month ago, but feel disappointed when the date draws near.
I thought of not attending it as I already guess that it will be boring. Maybe the main reason is I don't want to face the reality. I don't want to see her with her guy.

Anyway I did go to the BBQ as I have earlier on promised my colleague, Laura, I would help her with the food. Although the BBQ is not as dull as I imagine, but I still don't have the mood.
When I finally saw her and her guy, I feel even worse. I thought of leaving the place quietly after I fufill my promised to Laura.

When I just about to leave, Jasmine who seem to notice my weird behaviour, ask me to go for a chat. We went to a corner with a can of beer and I start to tell her my trouble.
I have a good chat with Jasmine and feel better after that. Thanks alot Jasmine.
Hope I will sort up my thinkings and feelings.

Confusing...

2004-07-22T10:49:00.000+08:00

I really don't know what is the relationship I have with her. I thought I can treat her as a best friend, but it turn out that I could not. The more I try to suppress my feelings, the more I can't control. I feel I am betraying a friend's trust, but I still don't have the courage to tell her how I feel. I fear that I may lose a friend.
I hope I could do it in a mutual way, maybe I should wait for a good timing.

To go against my feeling

2004-07-18T18:47:00.000+08:00

All of a sudden today, I found a once lost feeling.
The last time I felt like this is 4 years ago when I fell in love with my ex-girlfriend.
But sad to say, the person that let me have this feeling is not an appropriate choice.
What do I meant 'not appropriate' is because she is attached. I don't see that I have any chance and I think this will not get anywhere too. I will only hurt my own feelings in the end.
My friend Jasmine is right, I should have realise it earlier, but I think I already in too deep now.
Maybe is my retribution now.....